Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Have We Ever Met? Anywhere?

Hello again. Have we ever spoken to one another? Over the internet in chats, on forums, or in comments? Over the phone, or through txt, or real life?

If we have, surprise: I love you.

You out there are reading this right now. I love you the same way.

We may not have ever been intimate personally or intimate romantically. We may never have ever been bunk buddies or classmates. We may never have played Grand Theft Auto III in a circle around a sectional laughing with red eyes and rampaging.

But I love you.

You may not have liked any previous encounter. You may not have ever known how wrong I now clearly am able to describe I was in each moment, in my rush to stop my racing and potentially bleeding heart from burning with the anxiety that I live on a planet which does not know how to read, or that must otherwise not be able to understand what they have read and what has been written in an honesty I am often told is my greatest fault.

It often is. And that is because we become most hurt and most offended and most vengefully defensive when we are called liars. All of us do it. Maybe not over everything - picking your battles and that - but we share this relation which is fiddled with my fingers, but like this, and not like this, although I also love Buscemi as any sane man does, just to push that point across that I love everybody as I share this massive set of massive sentences I could actually say out loud in real life and observations that I am compelled to ensure are here for all who wish to be and seek freedom and equality on a globular scale and a global scale as we have the infrastructure and all the people we need and more we can train and we have enough for everybody to have a little and those with a lot to still have all of things. It is already almost as it should be. But we will talk about money, and perhaps the misuse of numbers, at a later time.

I love you all for the guilt I have endured for my anger which has always forced me to think about what I have done and learn about what has been done to others and that which has expanded to what my heart bleeds into these words today and from here out.

I used to want to be a rapper. I had a different journey and it involved a mountain of grief and a range of them would not compare to the guilt of being as late as I am, and the pain of feeling like I am the first, knowing very well and quite physically and literally, even as it is poured into the magnet, that I am not alone, and that right now you are watching me, and that  you are hoping I will not let you down.

It doesn't matter what we think of each other or how we feel when we are slighted as much as it is important to understand unconditional love.


To Our Dearest Lost Yet Found In Us Brother-Brother and Leader-Uncle Lesane Parish Crooks,

Thank you for writing Unconditional Love and making it available to me as I write what you yourself have sparked to become my opus so very long ago which I have awaited the final pieces for, for all of this time.

Thank you for providing this anthem of your own deepest insecurities which relate to many of my own deepest insecurities that has lasted and stayed relevant within my own struggle for all of these years to keep me and all people who know they are like me knowing that we are not alone.

Thank you for tireless and copious hours spent creating in the studios and believing and representing and writing the truth and explaining it in a way that not only your prime identifiers could understand but that the waves upon waves of crazy white kids who looked to you for sanity throughout the craziness of the 1990s could as well. I have witnessed countries change with your music, let alone colors, creeds, or individuals of any other label of separation.

As very young men, under the bodies and provisions of mere boys, you helped myself and many others to embrace those years for the good as much as the bad, and to allow the bad to make the good that much better.

I don't care who thinks you are the TGIF of Rap Music - you are the most rough, rugged, and raw outcast outlaw immortal to ever speak his mind and the first figure I myself have ever heard say aloud that you can feel his hand on your brain. You courage and your convictions are understood and your knowledge and all of your wisdom was not lost on me.

Your lyrics the Gospel of Makaveli, your Outlaw Immortalz and you theirs.

Young Noble as I know you are aware has become the most brilliant under-sung lyricist who is also underrated, overlooked, enlightened, and spreading the word that belongs to all of us as honestly as he can possibly see it as truly as I am attempting to be honest from my view into the rat race that was once and should be again Utopia with the benefit of all who we know now to be capable of leading us, who must in themselves forget their doubt and follow the path to Love and to Health.

There is as much passion and talent and charisma and value in entertainment in the man whose music you seem to have forever inspired to the benefit of all of his listeners that doubters would say you would be proud of him but those who know themselves know that you are very proud that he and his fellow Outlawz have grown to be such great, great men with the strength to share their flaws and to embrace their convictions, sharing their views with the world, I am one who appreciates that.

We love the Outlawz as Outlawz feeling like Outkast as well in our spaceships hoping there'll be no more bombs over Baghdad knowing ourselves the all over the world together that it must be stopped all over the world and that our armies must be the ones to stop it. In all ranks and affiliations, in all nations and every kingdom. Because we are all living in the same kingdom, and only doubters will tell you otherwise.

And knowing there is still so much more to be learned through our shared experienced, now more connected and distributed than ever, there is now that final spark in my brain which has awakened me which you all have played the part in pouring this knowledge into my mind with so many others I will write to and give them their time that I owe them as much I love them for allowing me to be grateful.

All of the little homies are grown men, and they still carry, protect, honor, and respect your name and the flame that you carried before them that you and we all together know among others as well we all carry and must cherish together while nurturing it with a kindling of truth.

We have struggled for long to speak our love and our message to put effort into each other as we would want effort put into ourselves. Struggles and frustrations and peril and pestilence and greed has gone misunderstood for so long. After casting aside doubt there comes the need to give away the greed, and to face the peril, and to overcome the frustrations, and to help cure the pestilence, and to do all of these and the other things and have a peace on Earth that comes from a Strike Of Humanity with the urge to be Stricken from Bondage and Bad News like Weasel that direly wishes to be Good but doesn't yet know how.

Your congregation, as congregations are many and varied and groups which display possession of the way are congregations, have honored the lives of my own and many others who you have reached along with all of those who know as your contemporaries, like Rockstar Games seems to know.

They put  Ambitionz As A Ridah in the game, Pac. You know they know.

I do not believe doubt in ourselves can outlast the examples of wisdom and the jewels of my own that I will provide and share as my calling is mine to write and to be a hermit, to love all, and do no harm, speak no evil, see no evil, and refuse to hear any evil who persecuted the creators and the performers and the listeners of the most poetic and personal form of music mankind has ever been blessed to have been inspired to create and make popular.

It is my not-necessarily-humble belief that Grand Theft Auto fans, the most persecuted, envied, and mislabeled fans in the most persecuted and as of now unrivaled in penetration medium of Enter-Tainment have now been supplied in their favorite game a vivid and painstakingly detailed representation of the need to break free from preconditioned and brainwashed behaviors and expand our minds.

What Rockstar's employees have created meets and exhibits to me Paramount of Actualization in Video Gaming. And so I have found my calling through my own interests and passions in playing their games and my place in this puzzle of people in pieces now about to be completed in sharing and rejoicing in the instincts we prove to them are not wrong to feel.

It took so long to achieve my own understanding with this that I searched in so many places for things that agreed with my understanding and now in technology, the emulation of our reality, in the title that seeks to emulate our reality, has been delivered unto us and I thank you and all like you before and after you and Rockstar Games and even Capitalism for making this all possible for me to send others out there to be better than me, and better than known currently practiced behaviors, and to be louder than me, and to suffer never again as I have and am glad to continue to for them, until they tell me we do not have to suffer anymore and that life will be good again as it was when we networked our instincts. As you did for us, as He did for us, as many have done and still do for us.

What you and those who were truly inspired by you and truly understood you have done in the face of the ugliest persecution in media out of unfounded hatred for a beautiful and already overly persecuted in all flavors of all of God's people has not fallen on deaf ears and has not been lost on me in all medias and all truths we can read and ingest and understand the voice of the world from outside of it.

You were the Poet Laureate of our Times and of all medium of poetry before you and Eminem is the Strongest Representation of your Efforts to Positive Fruit who is widely available and respected with the highest regard of true listeners.

Eminem, along side of the Outlawz and all those you influenced who have all been integral in ending the doubt of those who falsely believed they were superior  than anyone else of any nationality, religion, color, creed, or disposition when they were inferior for the very thought.

The Whole Game Was Influenced. All Games Were Influenced by All Of You, thanks to You, Lesane.

Thanks to You Tupac Amaru Shakur.

Thanks to You Afeni Shakur Davis.

And all Mothers and All Daughters of the World we all must Share. You Are Appreciated.

I love you Tupac, and I love you all, all in all As All We Are, who love you as I love the reader of my words who has expelled doubt from their heart and accepted that they are powerful, they are great, and that they deserve to be free, and owe their neighbor the love and appreciation that so many of you have worked so hard to show them.

You all had to know. All parties who will have been named and who are being thanked for forming my own personal revelation to share all that I have learned from all of my big-brother-brothers and big-sister-sisters. You had to have known, right? You had to know that this would happen. So We have worked very hard at this and my very small role shall sends very large ripples and fear will be expelled from the heart of all who accept the collected and manifest Knowledge that you have shared, just by being you.

Forever Thankful, and only just beginning,
Brian

P.S: Thank you Tupac so much for this one as well. It is so much more positive than it is given credit for being, it has provided strength to me and helped me to lower my anxiety on countless occasions.

I just wish you didn't plan to die. We wish you were here.

And it was your own free will. I love you. Forever.





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